How to Wine for Dummies.

That title insinuates more than I even like to lead on. I am a dummy when it comes to wine. I don’t like to admit to that. What mid-twenty year old doesn’t loveeee wine? I do…I just do not know jack squat about it! I’ve always preferred beer and whisky. I know hardcore. For some reason beer and whiskey have such a stigma that you wouldn’t necessarily want to admit you had multiple glasses on a week night of one of those. BUT wine seems perfectly acceptable to openly admit that you had several glasses on a work night. So when I am standing in the wine aisles at work…woah I mean AFTER work at Vons…I am like a man in MAC. What the heck am I supposed to choose here? So. Many. Options.

Naturally I look and look…(sometimes start scratching my head)

1. First I choose what color I’m wanting; white or red. A lot of the time I don’t even know the answer to that! If that’s the case I simple skip step 1 and proceed to step 2.

2. I then filter down based on my current bank account status. Can I splurge a little bit or am I strictly on $12 or less budget? This is usually depending on if its pay week or if I have another week until pay day.

3. Then my last step in selecting the perfect wine for that evening is nothing but a good label. Something that catches my eye and looks pretty to me.

4. Now the other option you have, if you are like me and know nothing about wine, would be to go with your girlfriend who knows EVERYTHING about wine- you’re usually safe and will get some killer tasting wine that you won’t remember the name of the next time you are standing in that aisle again ALONE trying to pick a freaking bottle for the night.

So there you have it. If you are as wine inept as I am but you’re also a classy broad and need to relax after a long day – guess away! – as I have.


When all else fails I just grab a beer…I know how to pick those!




7 thoughts on “How to Wine for Dummies.

  1. You are funny. I love the way you make your choices. That would be me too. After many years, I’ve finally learned that I like white, sweet wine, and chocolate tasting hard drinks. Thanks for visiting my blog. Hope to see you again. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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